It’s all about me!

Well, it used to be all about me.  Not so much anymore.  You see, about a year ago, Olivia was born, and then it became all about her.  Is she hungry?  Is she tired?  Will the flashing lights on the Little Mermaid talking phone give her ADD?  Will watching Oprah with me turn her into an obese, lazy, self-absorbed slob?  It gets to be a little nutty.

The biggest challenge in my day is trying to regain some composure and control while two little tornadoes (otherwise known as my daughter Olivia and my friend’s daughter, Jenna) wreak havoc on my house, my sense of self, and my sanity.  The food I make gets used for hair gel, the educational toys I spent hours comparing online get thrown into a jumbled pile in the living room and ignored in favor of a plastic container filled with rice, the invigorating lime-cilantro scented candles I strategically placed around the house are overpowered by the stench of baby excrement, and my otherwise friendly and outgoing cats are reduced to cowering on the top ledge of the kitty condo where they can keep an eye on the chaos.  My deepest conversation most days consists of repeating the phrase, “Not in the mouth,” while everything from cat food to carpet fuzz gets tested for its digestability, and I get ignored.  It’s not the most gratifying thing in the world.

But then I stop to think.  Just a few short weeks ago, I was stuck in a 10 foot by 6 foot box 10 hours a day, staring at a computer screen, praying that the 5:00 meeting was cancelled so that I could rush home to spend 20 minutes with Olivia before bedtime.  There is so much that I’ve missed: her first real smile, the first time she sat up completely on her own, watching her do the army crawl for the last time as she learned to crawl for real.  I have few regrets in my short life, but missing out on these tiny triumphs is the most poignant. 

So that’s what this is, my attempt to gather my thoughts, retain my sanity, and treasure those precious moments as they occur.  Wish me luck.  And if you come to my house and find me curled up on the floor, covered in peas, pressing the buttons on the little purple phone, and muttering “Hi, it’s me, Ariel!” over and over, don’t worry; that’s just a normal day around here. 

Tags: babies, parenting, stay-at-home-mom, toddlers