It’s been a while since I’ve done any personal blogging, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to say. I’ve just been way too busy to bother writing about any of it. I’ll get to the catching up on my life in a few days, but right now I have a new rant.
Late last week, I went online to find ideas for a few things to keep Miss O occupied indoors now that the frigid Midwest winter is here. I stumbled upon a message board/chat room for stay-at-home moms from thebump.com, with a decent amount of good advice. One of the posts from early that morning, with a title about venting about a husband, caught my attention.
It was the typical gripe-fest: her husband doesn’t do enough around the house, he was a jerk to her one day at the store because she couldn’t help him out exactly when he needed it, he was pissy because the baby was sick and she was too tired to make dinner for him after work that night, and on and on. Of course, her mom and sister told her right away she should leave him, but she really loves him, so what should she do?
I read through the replies, most echoing that her husband is a jerk and she should go stay at her mom’s for a while, she should force him into counseling, and she didn’t deserve to be treated like that. At first, I didn’t think much of the post or the replies- just typical stuff you find when a bunch of women get together to gripe (we’re really good at that). But, after running errands for a while and having some time to myself to really think about it, I started to get pissed off.
Why, as soon as a man is less than perfect, do women automatically want to bolt? I’m guilty of thinking that way, too, though usually, it’s more an escape mechanism because I want to calm down before I say something I regret. But all these women were telling the one that she should leave her husband so he sees how good he has it and how miserable his life would be without her. Do they really think that is what will happen? Do they really think that a man is going to miss being nagged, griped at, or ignored? Do they really think that life is easier when you’re separated from your husband, or that being a stay at home mom is possible when you’re divorced?
I’m saddened by the fact that “leave him” is the universal solution for most marital issues. Don’t people understand that marriage takes work, that both parties are responsible for upkeep of the love, and that there are going to be bad times? My reply to the woman when I got home that night basically told her to stop being so selfish and start paying more attention to her husband. He was probably feeling neglected already, and the night without dinner was the tipping point, and his jerky-ness at the store was him acting out against her. While I don’t condone his behavior, I can understand it. Some attention, even negative attention, is better than none.
I don’t know if she or anyone else will take my advice, but I do feel better having gotten it out there for the world to see. So, now I need to go take my own advice and go give my hubby some love.
Tags: husband, marriage, mom, Motherhood, relationships, spouse, wife
